THA-THUMP

While on my way home from SOCCER Tuesday night, things went horribly wrong. While coming down Given Road in my 2006 Volvo V50 (yes its a wagon, no I do not have grandchildren nor do I wear panties), a sound resonated from my right front tire that still hurts to think about. It sounded much like: THA-THUMP-POP-BANG-LOUD NOISE-THUMP. After losing control of the steering, it became apparent to me that something was wrong. I slowed my car to a halt and stepped out to find that my tire had been popped and the rims badly damaged.

As dusk began to settle, i came to the realization that I was stuck on one of the windiest roads in Cincinnati, filled with consecutive blind spots. Feeling endangered and not knowing how to change a spare tire, I called triple A and distanced myself from my car that had quickly become a sitting duck. Over the next hour, I completed two homework assignments while I awaited the road-side assistance. When he arrived, he changed the tire in a matter of five minutes making me look completely incompetent.

Tire changed, homework finished, and dignity lost, I drove my car home with the newly mounted spare that might as well been a bike tire it was so thin.

The a much shinier version of the car in question.

The God

Over the past 15 years, Thierry Henry has become one of the most iconic players in this wonderful sport. His mind blowing ability ability to score goals inspired me to play soccer and still receives my mad respect to this day. Born in Paris, France, Thierry Henry showed incredible talent in soccer at a very young age. His convincing ability to score goals lead to a great amount of attention from professional clubs around France. At the age of 13, he was signed by the well known French club known as AS Monaco. From that point on, his impeccable ability to find the back of the net in continued to bring attention from all over the world. Henry made his first professional debut for Monaco in 1994. In 1998, Henry was asked to play for the French national team. Shortly after capping his first appearance for France, he signed with the Italian giants of the Serie A (“AH”)  known as Juventus. Playing as a right wing, Henry struggled to find form at his new club. the unfamiliar position and new style of Italian play was making it hard for Henry’s goal scoring talent to shine. The once called “prodigy” was beginning to look like a bit of lost cause for the “Old Ladies”. However, the newly assigned Arsenal manager Arsene Wegner (Venger) saw the potential talent in his fellow countrymen. Consequently, Henry was transferred to the North London side for a transfer fee of 11 million pounds.  Here, under Arsene Wegner’s genius, Henry was transformed into a goal scoring machine. The Frenchman lead Arsenal to one Premier League title, two FA Cups, and two UEFA cup final appearances tallying a record-breaking 228 goals in the process. Henry was also included in the team commonly known as the “Invincibles” in which the Arsenal side did not lose a single league match in the Premier League. In 2007 Henry transferred to the Catalan giants known as Barcelona F.C for a groundbreaking 24 million pounds. From this point on Henry continued to enjoy a successful career for three more years in Spain. Following his La Liga spell he moved to the New York Red Bull’s due to his old age. In 2012 Henry made a honorary return to his beloved club Arsenal for a two month loan spell. Henry reminded the Arsenal fans that he still had his knack for scoring goals for the Emirates side when he scored a fantastic goal against Leeds United in the FA Cup.   Over the course of his career, he became the most prolific Arsenal goalscorer and won countless trophies under multiple clubs.

Chelsea in Danger?

Pictured above is the EPL table. As you can see, things seem to be back to normal as the table features Chelsea on top with Manchester United and Manchester City following close behind. However, if you look closely, you will notice that Arsenal have managed to defy all odds by working themselves into higher than fourth place finish. Arsenal currently sits in second place, 7 points behind Chelsea, with Manchester United following one point behind. While Chelsea seems to have the Premier League trophy secured, Arsenal still could pose a threat to their title hopes. Arsenal still must play Chelsea. If they manage to beat Chelsea, that narrows the gap to 4 points. If Chelsea somehow lose form and lose 2 games or tie one and lose one, Arsenal could potentially finish above Chelsea and win the Premier League. Crazier things have happened in the Premier League, but it’s still very unlikely that such a solid team could lose form in the most crucial part of the season.

Jezza

This week it’s time we switch it up. No more droning on about who beat who and in what manner or how Tottenham will never win the Premier League(whoops did I just say that?). That being said, I feel that I am obligated to relate my blog post to soccer in some way or another. So here’s how I will make that connection: Top Gear once played Car soccer…

Some say it’s the funniest show on television, others say it’s one of the most politically incorrect.  Regardless of the opinions, there is no arguing that the most watched show in Britain lost is lead man on Wednesday, Jeremy “Jezza” Clarkson.

^^I know…

After a long day of filming in North Yorkshire, a fracas ensued when Clarkson discovered there was no catered food. Clarkson and co-producer Oison Tymon began to argue and the fight climaxed when Clarkson supposedly slapped Tymon. The BBC issued Clarkson a suspension while they discussed how to handle Clarkson’s punishment. On Wednesday, Lord Tony Hall issued a statement that announced the BBC would not be renewing Clarkson’s contract when it expires next week.

But not really…

Therefore Clarkson will no longer be employed by the BBC. Furthermore, the future of co-pundits Richard Hammond and James May are also in jeopardy. James May explained in an interview with the press that the three of them are a package “and it works for very complicated reasons”. Whether those “reasons” are something in their contracts or just the bond they have formed over the years, it sounds like the future of Top Gear’s hosts is totally indefinite.

No matter the future of BBC’s Top Gear, the chemistry of the show will never be the same. While Hammond and May are hilarious, without Clarkson its not the same. It’s comparable to taking away Lennon from the Beatles. The three have established an incredible bond through their countless endeavors. They aren’t just TV hosts anymore, they’re three best friends. And I cant see this silly little altercation splitting the idiots up. While BBC believes the show must go on, I say not without Clarkson…

I’ve compiled a collection of gifs that commemorate some of the best moments on Top Gear:

Salty Strikers Send Sellers Home Crying

The quality of David Luiz and Danny Welbeck are debated very similarly. Some believe these players are incredibly overrated and make little contributions to their team. Others may argue that these two players are undervalued and deserve more credit. However, one thing is for certain: they both made sure to end their former team’s quest for silverware this week.

While many argue although David Luiz is a great attacker, he fails at doing his main job: playing center back. Luiz’s tendency to be heinously out of position 90% of the time has caused many to call into question his hefty transfer fee to PSG. So when PSG were picked to play Chelsea in the round of 16 of the Champions League, fans knew they we’re in for an interesting match. Luiz decided he would silence critics in the 86′ minute when he put a scorching header past Thibaut Courtois to tie the game. Thiago Silva went on to score in overtime in the 114′ minute in order to beat Chelsea in aggregate. A post match interview featured a flustered Jose Mouhrinho and a wide grinning David Luiz. After Tuesday’s game, one could make the inference that David Luiz is “ok” with being an attack minded center back.

David Luiz looking kind of happy.

HIGHLIGHTS: https://youtu.be/hcX8pmWNduw

A similar series event occurred at Manchester’s Theater of Dreams when the boys from North London arrived. After being sold by Manchester United on deadline day for 15 million pounds, Danny Welbeck was described by manager Louis Van Gaal as,”not up to standard”. Welbeck’s proficiency in front of goal was not comparable to that of Wayne Rooney or Robin Van Persie. So when Welbeck’s and his new team, Arsenal, showed up to Old Trafford, Welbeck decided a statement needed to be made. After Nacho Monreal’s goal and Rooney’s quick response had drawn the two rivals level, it became a battle. In the 61st minute, a defensive mistake allowed Welbeck to tap the ball past David De Gea and put it in the back of his former teams net. This goal proved to be the game winner, sent United home, and made Welbeck a hero to some and the devil to others.

Bitter Sweet…Danny Welbeck also looking somewhat happy.

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Arsenal Team Goals

After another exciting FA cup weekend, Arsenal have once again showcased there ability to combine for fantastic team goals. Olivier Giroud recorded a brace against the Championship side Middlesborough, including one in which all 11 men on arsenal touched the ball before it found the back of the net. Therefore, I think its time to recognize why Arsenal play the beautiful game so well.

While teams like Chelsea and Manchester City are out constantly inserting new players into their squad and changing the dynamics, Arsene Wegner has developed a team with incredible chemistry. The Frenchman has said many times that even when players are injured, he likes to keep the squad as consistent as possible. Many of the players like Jack Wilshere, Aaron Ramsey, Olivier Giroud, and Alex Oxlade Chamberlain have been playing together for over 4 years now. Consequently they know each other so well that they anticipate each others runs and passes. This almost instinctive chemistry that has been instilled in Arsenal players shows in their goals.

Thomas Rosicky combines with 4 team mates for nimble goal.

Jack Wilshere combines for one of the greatest goals in Arsenal history.

And finally this goal scored on Sunday: http://youtu.be/jtCsjIYSr_Q

Upset about the FA Cup

Once again, the English Premier League has been shown up by unworthy clubs. However, this time it was on a much different stage: The FA Cup. Now as we approach the fifth round of the tournament, we must wave goodbye to our so called “Premier League Giants”.

So long Chelsea

Bradford City Bantams 4– Chelsea 2

After rippling the net for the first time around the 22 minute mark, it seemed the blues had this game in control. Gary Cahill flicked it past the keeper of a corner-kick to go 1 up on the Bantams. Shortly thereafter, a Ramires burst of pace and combination with Mohammad Salah lead to the second Chelsea goal. It wasnt till late in the second half when Bradford mustered their comeback scoring three goals in 15 minutes and sending Mouhrino’s boys home. As the players left the stadium, the Bradford fans sang out “Mouhrinho’s right, your fans are (expletive)”.

Bye Bye Manchester City

Middlesborough FC 2– Man City 0

Manchester City simply looked out of sorts as Middlesborough controlled possesion and battered the Citizens defense with constant counter attacks. It was Patrick Bamford, the 21 year-old, who jammed it in the back of the net at the Etihad to put Middlesborough up one. Manchester City had many attempts to pull one back, including a Frank Lampard rifle off the post. But it was Kike, the Spaniard for Middlesborough, who had the last laugh, putting the game away in extra time.

Now that these two “giants” are out of the way, a path has been cleared for Arsenal to make their second consecutive appearance at Wembley to claim the FA Cup. However many of the League 1 and Championship team’s pose a threat towards Arsenal’s repeat.

New Year New Team

The month soccer followers await most has finally arrived. As of January 1st the transfer market has been in full swing. After months of speculation over what players will be changing crests this January, rumors are finally coming to fruition or being blatantly denied. With big deals already completed and many more underway, I think its important to analyze the how much truth there is to these rumors.

(For those of you who do not quite understand the complicated system of soccer transfers here’s a quick explanation: There are two periods in which teams are able to sell or buy players. The larger period spans from July 1st to it’s end on September 1st. The second period occurs in  the month of January. This second period allows teams to address injury issues and rejuvenate their rosters. A transfer fee is basically the price a team must pay in order to get that player to change rosters and also void that players contract. Just as well, the team and the transferred player must agree to personal terms regarding the players new contract. Contrary to popular belief, THE TRANSFER FEE DOES NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE PLAYERS PAY. The amount of money spent to transfer the player depends on his ability and also the selling club’s reluctancy to let the player go. The wealthier the club, the more they are able to spend on transfers.)

Xherdan Shaqiri

Bayern Munich to Inter Milan CONFIRMED

Fee: £12m pounds.

After speculation that he would join premier league teams Liverpool or Stoke, it has been confirmed the 23 year-old Swedish winger will join the Serie A side for a fee of around £12m. After struggling to find favor in Pep Guardiola’s Bayern Munich side, Shaqiri hopes to mantain a starting position at Inter Milan.

Lukas Podolski

Arsenal to Inter Milan (loan deal) CONFIRMED

Fee: Undisclosed

After the German winger was bought by the Gunners as a striker, he has fallen out of favor in Arsene Wegners line-up. While the two still maintain a good relationship, I think it is agreed that the vision Wegner once had when he bought Podolski is no longer the direction the Frenchman wants to send the club. Consequently he has sent the recent world cup winner to Inter Milan where he will hope to maintain a first team spot. After his 6 month loan deal is up, Podolski’s future at the London side will be decided.

Victor Valdes 

Free Agency to Manchester United CONFIRMED

Fee: Free Transfer

The former Barcelona keeper will sign at Old Trafford and compete with David de Gea in goal. After suffering a bad knee injury last year, he left the Camp Nou and had been training with Louis Van Gaal’s squad prior to his signing.

Steven Gerrard

Liverpool to Los Angeles Galaxy CONFIRMED

After 26 years at Liverpool, the 34 year old will wave goodbye to English soccer and an incredible career. He will continue playing in the U.S with the LA Galaxy after signing an 18 month deal. The former England captain will join the Galaxy in July for a deal worth 9 million.

OTHER POSSIBLE BUTUNLIKELY RUMORS

Gareth Bale

Real Madrid to Manchester United

Leo Messi 

Barcelona to Chelsea

Followed the club on twitter

Rumored record fee

Wilfried Bony

Swansea City to Manchester City

Mario Balotelli

Liverpool to Olympiakos

Loan Deal

Mats Hummels

Borussia Dortmund to Manchester United

Petr Cech

Chelsea to Arsenal

Alexis Sanchez and the Arsenal

Since Alexis Sanchez’s arrival at the London Colney training complex, he has been a huge success for the Gunners. However, while everyone’s eye was focused  on the chileans unbeliveable abilty, the rest of the Arsenal sqaud have struggled.

Alexis’ goall agaisnt Champions League opponent Borussia Dortmund.

In just 4 months, Alexis has already tallied 14 goals and has not lost form since he found the back of the net for the first time. As manager Arsene Wegner explained, Alexis has a nack for always being in the right place at the right time. He has proved his scoring ability in not only the Premier League, but also in the Champions League and in the League Cup. Alexis versatility has also become incredibly important due to Arsenals injury crisis. Alexis has proven a useful replacement in either of the flanks or even through the middle scoring from all three positions.

However, while the golden boy that came from the Camp Nou is shining, the rest of Arsenal are looking unusually out of form. Without the help of Alexis, Arsenal would be helplessly left in 14th position and dangerously close to the relegation zone. To begin with, the injury crisis has caused many players to fall out of form. Midfielder Jack Wilshere was finally comin into his own when he was strickened by another ankle injury. Olivier Giroud, who scored 20 goals last season, has finally returned to the squad however it will take him a while to find full fitness again. Another issue has been Arsenal’s defense. The dynamic duo formed last season between centre-backs Laurent Koscienly kept Arsenal in the safe zone. However, this year it seems that almost always one of the members is hurt. Lastly, Aaron Ramsey, who had such a promising season last season has only found the back of the net twice. (Nowehere near his totals this time last year).

Last year, many excuses we’re made for Arsenals record signing Mesut Ozil in that he needed time to adjust to the Premier League. However, in his second year at the Emirates, Ozil is still struggling to produce the creative passing he once did. To make matters worse, Alexis had no problem adjusting to the speed and pace of the Premier League game. This has only increased the pressure on Ozil and the rest of the struggling Gunners.

When the rest of Arsenal decide to actually start playing and stop letting Alexis carry the team, they might actually be a dangerous side. We have the talent, but the only one who is showing it is Alexis Sanchez.

Wegner out?

A frustrated Arsene Wegner struggles to find a solution.

In times of distress, the phrase has been muttered many times by Arsenal fans: “Wegner Out”. Whenever Arsenal find themselves in a rough period, the fans seem to immediately take aim at the manager. However, when Arsenal return to winning form, the accusations and fingerpointing is soon forgotten. But this time around, things are different. It seems that even the optimistic at Arsenal agree that its time for Arsene Wenger to be shown the door.

Arsene Wegner has simply run out of creativity and it shows in the big matches. Arsenal were unable to score for 92 minutes today against Manchester United. When Olivier Giroud finally put one back for the Gunners, it was far too late. Machester United captured the 3 points after 2-1 finish. Arsenal now find themselves in 8th place in the league and its becoming unlikely that they will accomplish anything more than another 4th place finish. Arsenal fans want to see them challenge for the trophy once again. However, with Wegner in the technical box, I can’t see that happening any time soon. The french-man has enjoyed a very successful reign  at Arsenal collecting 13 trophies while in office. But Im sorry to say I think Wegner’s days at the Emirates are numbered.

An Arsenal fan since birth, my love for Wegner is immense. Memories of the days of Thierry Henry, Cesc Fabregas, and the Invincibles makes it hard to lose faith in Wegner. But I think its time to face the facts and recognize that the old man is very much out of his element. The game has changed tremendously since the last time Arsenal were crowned champions and Wegners ways are becoming obsolete.

Wegner still believes that spending big ruins the game of soccer and that clubs should develop great players instead. While this sounds nice in theory, it isnt going to change the fact that Chelsea and Manchester City are better because they spend. Although Wegner has tried spending big, he still failed o fill big holes in the Arsenal squad.

The Premier League trophy that Wegner once hoisted, now eludes him.

Just as well, Wegner has simply run out of creativity and it shows in the big matches. Arsenal were unable to score for 92 minutes today against Manchester United. When Olivier Giroud finally put one back for the Gunners, it was far too late. Arsenal now find themselves in 8th place in the league and its becoming unlikely that Arsenal will accomplish anything more than another 4th place finish. Arsenal fans want to see them challenge for the trophy once again. However, with Wegner in the technical box, I can’t see that happening any time soon. The french-man has enjoyed a very successful reign  at Arsenal collecting 13 trophies while in office. But I’m sorry to say I think Wegner’s days at the Emirates are numbered.

However, there is a big issue with this solution. Who does Arsenal find to replace the man that single handedly constructed a dynasty at Arsenal. Will Arsenal be willing to spend big on a manager that wants to spend big?